Am I Pretty When I Cry?

26th-27th May 2024

Atop a small pub in Islington, a piece of female teenage trauma and grief was perfectly distilled by a small team of young women. With fewer than 50 seats, the tension in the Hope Theatre was palpable from the get-go.

The one-woman show, written by Nancy Edwards, follows a young, nameless girl (Morgan Ferguson) enduring an uncomfortable therapy session as she opens up about her experience being sexually assaulted. Spurred on by the recent death of her assaulter, the woman is battling with a plethora of overwhelming emotions from guilt to relief as she comes to terms with the loss.

The director, Abi Deane had clearly laboured over each staging decision down to the second, providing instances in which the audience is transported with the girl back to the days spent with her assaulter. This was excellently complemented by Edwards’ ability to provide the audience with comedic relief without dampening the impact of the overarching trauma endured by Ferguson’s character.

“The trio of creatives are ones to watch in the future of theatre production…”

The clinical staging is deeply unsettling and provides no distraction from the character’s heart wrenching narrative. In the opening moments of the show, camcorder videos are projected across the walls and surfaces of the office. In retrospect, this acted as a reminder to the time having passed since the assault and perhaps the impact the assault has had on the girl’s memories since.

From the beginning of the play, the girl assigns the audience the role of the therapist, entangling those watching in an empathetic relationship as they watch the character unravel. The final few minutes unpick this attachment to the character as the imaginary therapist regains control of the narrative by putting an abrupt end to the session, leaving the girl more vulnerable than she has ever been. A handful of audience members leant forward as if to reach out and stop the character from walking out of the counselling office. Edwards’ writing expresses clear frustration towards the state of sexual assault counselling in the UK and is a jarringly familiar reminder of the reality for many victims of sexual assault.

The size of the theatre certainly worked in the creatives’ favour due to the intimacy this created with the audience. Had this been performed in a larger space, perhaps this intimacy and tension would be less effective. However, I would certainly be open to watching the performance again in a larger venue to compare. 

At the end of the show, I realised I had forgotten about the beer I had bought from the bar downstairs prior to the performance. The warm, flat beer was an indication of just how engrossing the performance given by Ferguson was and is a true testament to her talent. The trio of creatives are ones to watch in the future of theatre production and I am excited to see where this project takes them.

Christian Vince