Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper! Review

December 2, 2024

Jack and the Beanstalk: What a Whopper! Review

23rd November 2024 – 11th January 2025

All sorts of weird and wonderful things happen in London – including brunch – but if you head over to Charing Cross Theatre between now and the 11th of January, you’ll be transported to Upper Bottom – a not-so-sleepy village in the Yorkshire Dales.

Meet Jack: he’s very poor, very gay and very horny. His mother, Dolly, is an ex-soap star and together with their two cows, Tess and Claudia, they’re trying and failing to make ends meet. While Jack tries to make some money by selling miniature lettuces, Dolly turns her hand to baking but quickly decides she should call them Jesus cakes as you “think you’ve nailed them but they take three days to rise”.

“…one well-researched, up-to-date innuendo after another which had the audience laughing in a tear-streaming, nose-running, skunk-spraying kind of way”

And the following two hours is full of much the same: one well-researched, up-to-date innuendo after another which had the audience laughing in a tear-streaming, nose-running, skunk-spraying kind of way.

Like every good pantomime, they were quick to break the fourth wall. Forget about your typical, PG “he’s behind you” though and prepare yourself for smelly beavers and Roman dildos instead – both of which made for interesting props.

Of course, there has to be a villain and Lady Fleshcreep is a phenomenal one at that. Following in the footsteps of her “much loathed” mother, Melania, she torments the village threatening to buy up all their land if they put a foot wrong. Although, she does drink flat whites so she can’t be all that bad, I suppose.

As the magic beans turn into a curious-looking beanstalk – and make of that what you will – Dolly cries: “Don’t let the vicar see it. It’s obscene”. The same can be said for your Grandma, your great uncle and your kids, so leave them at home this Christmas, because Jack and The Beanstalk: What a Whopper! is not one for the whole family, and treat yourself to a riotous evening at the theatre.